Paper Cut
by lebunnylub
Summary: America responds to a letter from England, It opens up a lot of emotions that he can't quite deal with yet. Still he responds the only way he knows how, being himself.


Okay, so I read a letter made by Moujikan, it was Arthur's letter to Alfred. I liked it and wanted to respond back as Alfred. I included the letter of Moujikan's with premission and give full credit. I felt it needed to be included because it would just make more sense for someone who didn't read the first letter.

Disclaimer: I own nothing, Hetalia characters and the letter written by Arthur belong to their respective owners.

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><p>When Aflred looked at the letter addressed from Arthur in his hand he was tempted to throw it away. Not that he was mean or mad at Arthur but if he really wanted to talk to him he could just call or text him so easily. How long did it take for the letter to get here anyway? Thinking about it and feeling a nostalgic sense from holding the envelope in his hand, Alfred decided that he would read it and maybe even respond. It has been so long since he has written an actual letter, he kind of missed it in a way.<p>

He opened it up and sat down the couch getting comfortable like he usually did and began to read the letter already presuming it was going to be some sort of lecture that Arthur wanted to stress in detail. He was wrong; he was so wrong.

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><p>(Moujikan's Letter, unedited, untouched)<p>

Dear America- no Alfred F. Jones,

I know this probably won't mean as much to you as it does me… Bloody hell I don't even know why I'm writing this. Perhaps I've truly become a sentimental old man as you're always so fond of pointing out… I couldn't keep this in any longer all I really want to say to you is I love you. I know I must seem pathetic, after all I'm always berating you for those cheesy Hollywood movies you're always so fond of, but it is true I love you git. Sometimes at night all I can do is stare at the empty place next to me hoping by some grace of God you would appear… but I know that is impossible. Even so I would still give an arm and a leg just to be with you even for just one short moment. Forgive me, I was never a brave man when it came to human emotions. I become terrified at the thought of actually opening myself up. The thought that if I let someone in they can easily leave me and all I will be is broken… Forgive me I am not strong. The thought of you leaving me again strikes terror into my heart and I freeze just when I'm about to utter the words I love you. I'm sorry I'm not strong enough to admit that I love you… that I love you so much the mere mention of you name brightens up my day if only just a bit. I'm sorry that I hide through this rough attitude and pretend as though all the kindness you bestow upon me does nothing but cause me trouble. I'm sorry that I pretend that your smile and laugh irritate me when all I want to do laugh and smile right along because seeing you happy makes me infinitely more happy… I'm sorry that I'm a coward… a coward who hides behind harsh words and sarcasm. A coward who only wants to hold and love you but is too afraid because even if I were to get you the chance of you slipping out of my hands leaves me shaking and all I can do is stand there and shout out insults… I'm sorry that I become terrified when you tell me that you love me because I know that you couldn't possibly mean it in the I feel about you. That those words are only words. That you couldn't possibly know that when I dream up those words, words that probably mean nothing to you but make up my entire world, all I think about is cooking meals for you, fighting with you, loving you, just being with you… I'm terrified of that horrible moment when we each have an understanding that you don't love me. I know you will be honest because you are just so kind and it will make me love you even more because you are honest but I'm terrified of going home alone again this time not even having the hopes and dreams that you could possibly love me… I am a horrible coward even now I still am… because this letter… this insignificant letter is just my pathetic, cowardly way of telling you… I love you. I Love You Alfred F. Jones.

Forever yours,

Arthur Kirkland

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><p>Alfred's face was heating up dramatically and his heart started beating so hard he felt as if it were going to jump right out of his chest. He shot up from his comfy place on the couch, still clutching the letter and dashed to his room. He went to his desk and frantically started searching for a piece of paper that didn't have some kind of coffee or grease stain on it. He threw books and his briefcase to the side and he finally found a nice clean sheet. He sat down hurriedly, got his pen and rested it on the paper.<p>

oh…he didn't think what he was going to say, he was so busy thinking he had to respond right away that he forgot to consider what he was going to actually write back. He took the pen off the paper and leaned back in his chair, looked at the ceiling and let out a sigh. He just had to be himself.

"Yeah…"

He then proceeded to write his letter back

Dear Artie (he crossed that out, he forgot this wasn't some text message) Dear Arthur Kirkland,

You're so stupid. (He cringed and crossed that out too, he really had to think before he wrote, this was delicate and important.) You're ridiculous, you know that? You really have become a sentimental old man but I never disliked that about you. No, I never disliked that or anything about you, even when you make fun of my "cheesy" movies. Give an arm and a leg to be with me? Don't do that, don't say things like that because it would be really awkward for me to hang out with someone with only one arm and one leg, especially if all they had to do was call me or just come over, you don't need an invitation to see me. You can come over anytime and you can call me to come over anytime, I know our schedules are hectic and sometimes work seems never ending but I'm sure we can find time. I want to find time, I guess that's why I sometimes skip work, did you know that? It's a secret don't tell my boss but sometimes I leave work early, like half a day early. You'll probably scold me for doing that but that's alright, I don't mind. Lets spend more time together, day after day after day after day! Let's think of the future, Artie, I know in the past I hurt you, I hurt you real bad to the point you can't forget and I'm sorry. But look- I'm standing stronger then ever, right beside you as an equal and I think by doing this I have been able to understand you better. Your rough exterior and harsh words can be really scary, y'know sometimes it helps to be the happy idiot I am because sometimes your words cut like a knife.

(Alfred wondered if he should cross that last part out but decided he should just keep going.)

When you scold me I can see in your eyes not just irritation but worry and concern. I like that, I think that's why I just go and do dumber things, so I guess it's your fault, I'm just kidding. I never told you this but I actually think your irritated expression is kind of cute. Artie- Arthur, despite your attitude I can tell you don't mean it, I've known for a while now because I've noticed the slight twitch of your lips when you're forcing yourself not to smile or laugh. I take it as a challenge and I want to make you smile even more. Writing all this down is so draining and the rest of this letter is going to show you how horrible I am, so sorry in advance. You're right, the 'I love yous' I say don't have much weight, I do care about you that's a fact, I want to be with you and protect you with all I have but…I'm not ready. If you think you lack courage then you have no idea how much of a coward I am in comparison, even a hero has his faults. I'm still young, selfish, stupid and my ideas though really impressive and awesome are foolish and irresponsible. I know that, I just ignore it because things are better that way. I know who I am so I know that my love is shallow, I've never loved before. I've never loved someone before, I've never held or supported someone before like a lover would so with all the selfishness I can muster will you wait for me? This may hurt and make it painful to be near me now but I want to grow a little more for when I can tell you.

I Love You.

When I say it, it will have so much heart felt passion that it will make you cry tears of joy just like in one of my Hollywood movies. Until then I guess we need to work on finding our courage and I want us to keep on supporting each other. (Alfred re-thinking what he wrote suddenly grew emotional when he wondered what Arthur would think and feel about his response.) Please, Arthur please, wait for me. Even if it hurts, I'll do whatever I can to make you smile, just wait a bit longer. -

Right now Alfred didn't know what else to say , he was a bit upset with himself and didn't like the swirl of emotions growing in his body. He felt so pathetic. He ended the letter there, but wanted to end on a lighter note. Something that if Arthur read it would either make him smile or pissed, just not sad.

-Awesomely Yours, Alferd F. Jones.

Ps. You don't need to make my meals, your cooking kind of sucks. XP

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><p>He leaned back in his chair finished, letting out a sigh of relief. He cracked his neck and groaned a bit, he really wished Arthur would just text him sometimes. He felt he was growing older by the second but it felt good to get this out. He put the letter in the mail box but knew it would take a week to get to England, until then he will have to act normal and just enjoy their time together.<p>

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><p>God, Alfred your such an ass I swear, haha. I feel this would be a somewhat natural response, I'm a fan of fluff but I don't tend to write very fluffy things, this is kind of a mature love that I wanted to get across. Alfred is more mature and introspective of himself, which may be out of character but I think it's nice. I hope you enjoyed this and go favorite the original writers work! Please review too, that would be cool, first Hetalia fanfic, omg~<p> 


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